Friday, November 30, 2012

"What is right with you?" Pt. 4: The future (and letting go of the past)

The future, and letting go of the past
Part of the "weeding" process, the clearing up to get to the garden often means learning to let go of some things from the past that hold you up.  The problem is that it is not always as easy as identifying the problem and saying goodbye.  Sometimes it can be that, but we often have emotional connections to our past.  I have found that getting past the actual event of the past and finding out what was the purpose or emotional meaning of that event for us, may require us to address the emotional need.  If you are able to find some kind of way to address that, or at least begin to work on that, you might find that the grip of the past has on you might begin to loosen its grip.  It is as if some part of us is dragging us there to finish something or address something, and stubbornly holds on until we get it.  The deeper the meaning, the more powerful the event has on you, the more work might need to be done on this part of you to loosen you from its grip.  The negative past and our attachment to it can seem so pointless, but it usually has a meaning worth mining and giving it its due, so you can move forward.  Remember that we are all doing what we need to do, or at least think we need to do to survive.  My Website

"What is right with you?" Pt. 3: On the flip side...

On the Flip Side...
Sometimes to get on to the good stuff, its like weeding a garden.  We have to remove what is interfering, maybe even choking off...the flowers.  But with some steady attention to weed removal, the flowers will not only show, they might even become the main attraction.  Removing weeds is not ignoring them, or pushing them aside.  It means identifying them.  The soul is like a garden.  In fact our symptoms (weeds) like depression, anxiety, etc., are the soul's attempts to to get our attention.  So the weed (a symptom) in our analogy has something to tell us.  Is the anxiety due to feeling insecure about something that we need to address?  Are we down or depressed because something is literally keeping us down?  Even in anger, it is not the anger that is usually the problem. What we do with anger can be a problem.  But anger is very often a helpful alarm that lets us know that things are not right.  So weed removal means addressing where they come from.  When we do that and find our way with the problem (sometimes we need a helpful relationship for this), we may find the weed is removed or dissipates (but may return to remind us of something!).  My Website

"What is right with you?" Pt. 2: What is going on right now?

Sometimes it is hard to just experience what is happening right now.  Try not to think about what has gone on before or all you have to do next.  We can really only experience what is going on a moment at a time.  Even when we make lists of things to do, we can hear the sounds, smell the smells, see what is going on, and we can even select a lot of what we attend to.  Try it!  You might be excited to see what happens.  Do not make it too hard.  My Website

What is right with you? Pt. 1

As a psychologist in private practice, I have found that this is actually a much harder question to answer than it might seem.  However, it seems to me that this is what we are all after in one way or another.  Lets make it our task to discover this.  And if it is hard to find, lets remove what is in the way, or keeping us stuck, and get back on track!  More later.  Steven M. Harris, PhD  Newport Beach, CA.  My Website