Wednesday, January 30, 2013

"What is right with you?" Part 9: Taking Steps

Taking (the next) Step can be hard because of the conflict between the desired change and the fears of the feelings of having to give up the safety of the old.  Reaching out is a risk.  If you were to call to set up an appointment to start therapy, or go to a support group, or reach out to a friend in a way you have not before, it can feel like there is a lot at stake.  And there is.  In the case of therapy, a psychologist is trained in many theories of the mind.  Will they just take what you say and fit it into their theory?  Will a pastor or other spiritual guide give you a "one size fits all" platitude or scripture?  Or will they try to really get to know you from your perspective and start from there?  It is scary, because you do not want to feel missed.  That does not feel good.  Every good relationship is not perfect at the "getting each other" part.  However, the better relationships involve both persons being committed to knowing and understanding even when things get mis-communicated.  I think there is a big important truth here.  Are you aware of the most important part of the issue when you sit down with a pastor, a therapist, or a good friend to discuss your issue or problem?  HINT:  It is not them or what they think or even they themselves (though they should feel safe enough).  If it appears that way, trust your gut and run!  I suggest that you set out with new steps taking stock of what is important to you to be able to talk about, how you talk about it, and ways that feel important for you to be felt, known, understood...My Website