"What is right with you?" Pt. 10: Getting Started

Taking the first steps can be so difficult.  It can mean letting go of something.  Even if you are hurting, afraid, or very down, there can be a comfort in not doing something about it.  For instance, if you are to make a call to a therapist (say me), there is further risk.  What if you do not get the help you think you are seeking?  What will I think of you?  I mean, psychologists learn all kinds of theories.  Will he just fit what I am saying into his theory?  Will I really be heard?  Will he "get me?"  While this could happen, it can miss a very important point.  You know more about you and what is like to be you than anyone.  A friend, a pastor, or helping professional must start there...with you you are.  You are the starting point, not your friend, therapist, or pastor...at least when the focus on who is being helped is yourself.   There is the difficulty of reaching out and not knowing what will happen, but you need to listen to yourself and your experience of how you feel treated and responded to.  That is important too.  You may not trust yourself completely to do this, but you must have a least a bit to try...My Website

"What is right with you?" Part 9: Taking Steps

Taking (the next) Step can be hard because of the conflict between the desired change and the fears of the feelings of having to give up the safety of the old.  Reaching out is a risk.  If you were to call to set up an appointment to start therapy, or go to a support group, or reach out to a friend in a way you have not before, it can feel like there is a lot at stake.  And there is.  In the case of therapy, a psychologist is trained in many theories of the mind.  Will they just take what you say and fit it into their theory?  Will a pastor or other spiritual guide give you a "one size fits all" platitude or scripture?  Or will they try to really get to know you from your perspective and start from there?  It is scary, because you do not want to feel missed.  That does not feel good.  Every good relationship is not perfect at the "getting each other" part.  However, the better relationships involve both persons being committed to knowing and understanding even when things get mis-communicated.  I think there is a big important truth here.  Are you aware of the most important part of the issue when you sit down with a pastor, a therapist, or a good friend to discuss your issue or problem?  HINT:  It is not them or what they think or even they themselves (though they should feel safe enough).  If it appears that way, trust your gut and run!  I suggest that you set out with new steps taking stock of what is important to you to be able to talk about, how you talk about it, and ways that feel important for you to be felt, known, understood...My Website